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I went through so many versions of this blog in my head after spending at least a week at a complete loss of words.

2021 hit hard and fast and frankly, looking around on the outside not much has changed. One of the versions of this email I was writing in my head was all about how important it is to focus internally, especially when the outside world holds so much of what we don’t want. This is important and I have a lot to say about this subject. Because the thing is, we have little control over what is happening around us. But, we always have control of our reaction to it.

While this is true and important, it didn’t feel quite right to touch on now. Instead, it felt important to just acknowledge the reality of our experience right now.

This turning of a year definitely felt different to me. Instead of being prepped and ready to meet a new year full of plans and visions and energy, I feel like I’m still trying to process the past year. Not to mention it’s tough to plan when the future is so uncertain and many big joys – concerts, vacations, music festivals are still out for the foreseeable future.

I don’t have any profound answers for you. I wish I did. I wish I could say something grand and take it all away. Make it all different. Oh, how I used to wish this as a new therapist.

Instead, it was, What, I have to sit here with someone else’s strong uncomfortable emotions in addition to my own?! Did I really sign up for this? Sigh. I guess I did. And now here we all sit with it hanging all the way out.

Sure, I have tools and techniques I could share to help build your capacity to sit with these emotions. I had to learn how to do this myself. But, I don’t even feel it is time for that right now. This email is about acknowledgment.

Acknowledging that last year was tough! This year is tough. And this week, well, we will see what that brings.

So, if you still feel like you are trying to shake off 2020 while 2021 continues to move on, you are not alone.

I read an IG caption from my online yoga teacher, Sadie Nardini, last week that said “It’s ok to have a bare minimum day.” She went on to say how she had all these ambitious plans for her day and instead, “I mailed a letter.” That was it. Nothing that she knew could help her feel better, like eating healthy, meditating, yoga, even drinking water. But the day went on and eventually she did feel better.

It is ok to just “get by” today. Whatever that might look like. Maybe it’s mailing a letter, maybe it’s brushing your teeth. I’m going to go as far as to say, “It’s ok to have a bare minimum year.” This is coming from a woman who has many grandiose plans for this “downtime.” I need to hear this just as much as anyone.

If I can impart anything to you right now, that is it. Our sense of normalcy has been torn apart. Turned upside down with no sense of when it will right again. When it does, my prayer is that it will be different. I do not want to go through this for nothing. Things need to change desperately. The way we were living was unsustainable. To our health, to the health of our planet. We needed a reset and we got one. It just so happened to come at a time of extreme political divide and upheaval in our country.

The fact of the matter is, structures are breaking down, foundations that were created centuries ago are crumbling and my sense is it will continue for a while. Things are shifting externally and internally. When this happens, it can be difficult for us to find our footing. Some can dance with this gracefully, while most will fall to the ground weeping in utter confusion. (Or we would if we allowed ourselves to really feel and express our emotions.) There’s no right or wrong. Simply what is. I think it is important to illuminate this.

Just the act of being with what is will help to reduce the friction. This has been my lesson in the past few weeks. Leaning into the undoneness of it all. Letting go of trying to control and plan. Just meeting myself where I am and being okay with things not being all nice and tidy and all lined up.

Honestly, I feel pretty messy starting this year. Like everything is still blown apart and it hasn’t come back together yet. This is my reality, right here, right now.

The best thing I can offer myself is to ask what is one thing I can do to honor how I feel today? Not trying to fix or change, just allowing what is and what needs to be. With spaciousness and compassion.

Have you heard the phrase, “in order to heal, you have to feel?” Well, friend, I think we are here. In the feeling. I know the healing is on its way and I look forward to holding the space for that to happen. But first, we have to relax into what is. Because until we accept what is we cannot move forward, at least not in a smooth and easeful way. Which is how I like to travel. 😉

I’d love to hear from you. What is true for you right now? How are you feeling?

Big Love,

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